Post that helped mum discover diagnosis - news.com.au

A solo mother says she has become closer than ever with her mum after discovering they share a similar trait after 43 years.

Alisha Burns, 43, found herself in an online community of other solo mothers after choosing to pursue motherhood on her own.

A friend from the group was diagnosed with ADHD and autism and began sharing her symptoms - such as constantly having voices in her head, having a bad memory, always picking up new hobbies and never finishing projects - on her social media.

Ms Burns felt seen, believing many of the symptoms applied to her, so when the pair caught up for an overseas trip to Fiji with their children it was all they could talk about.

“I started doing a bit more research into it and listened to some podcasts. I was like, ‘How did I not know that this is me my whole life’,” Ms Burns told news.com.au.

She got her formal diagnosis of ADHD, but once she began listening to podcasts, she sent them to her 73-year-old mother.

“Mum worked out she is also ADHD and that it probably comes down from her father. It’s just insane. I had no idea my brain worked differently to other people’s,” she said.

For some people, the diagnosis can fill them with relief while others are frustrated it took so long.

But Ms Burns said she was lucky because when she first started looking into podcasts about ADHD, it made the neurodivergence seem like an incredibly positive thing.

“I could see it as being a superpower, whereas when I’ve said it to other people they’ve got quite a negative connotation to it still, and I think that's because so many of us think of hyperactive naughty school boys,” she said.

“We don’t think of how it shows up in females. I think if you look back at my report cards from school, there would be no doubt. There was so much about be being good but needing to apply myself and being easily distracted.”

However, one of the biggest benefits about discovering the fact she has ADHD is how its brought Ms Burns and her mother closer together after she revealed the pair had not been close.

“There were a lot of things that annoyed me about her that I now realise was ADHD. She’s an older generation who are less self aware and less wanting to do anything about it,” she said.

“Things like I would be telling her something and she’d always turn it back to a story about herself. I now know that’s an ADHD thing and she’s doing that to relate to a person not because they want to take an experience away from them.”

She said her mother was a people pleaser and had rejection sensitivity disorder — to the point where she’d be concerned to stack the dishwasher in case Ms Burns didn’t like how she did it.

“Whereas I don’t care about how things are in the dishwasher. So since finding that out I can see why she's doing certain things because we now realise our brains work the same,” she said.

“We’re having so many conversations about ADHD and how it’s showing up for us, and we’re a lot more open and honest. We can also call each other out if we’re doing weird things. We’ve become so close, which I never thought we would be so it’s a really beautiful outcome of it all.”

She said she’s also keeping an eye on her daughter to see if she starts to show characteristics of ADHD so she can help her along her journey.

Another massive win from her diagnosis was that Ms Burns left her corporate job to start her own business called Solo Mum Society after returning from maternity leave at her old job to find a completely different management style that didn’t suit how she operated.

Her diagnosis gave her the courage to go out on her own and fill a niche for solo mothers about support resources and what to expect.

“I’ve just released a book last week which is 20 stories from other women who have been through this and created an online community that has 1200 members,” she said.

“It’s this incredible community that has come together just because we’re all solo mums, and it’s something I created. It gives me so much passion and drive.”

More Coverage

Ms Burns said the main takeaway she wants people to get from her story is that an ADHD diagnosis isn’t a negative thing.

“It really think it can be a superpower. I think for me, quitting my corporate job and being my own boss is about creating an environment where my superpower can thrive because I don’t work well when I’m being told what to do.”

She said she doesn’t think she would have ever known why she was feeling like she didn’t fit in anywhere until she was diagnosed.

Adblock test (Why?)

https://news.google.com/rss/articles/CBMikAFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9saWZlc3R5bGUvcmVhbC1saWZlL25ld3MtbGlmZS9tdW1zLXNob2NrLWF0LWRpc2NvdmVyaW5nLWFkaGQtZGlhZ25vc2lzLWF0LTQzL25ld3Mtc3RvcnkvZTBiZDg1OTIwZWMyZjg4YzlmMDExMzI4YzI4ZGQ0MGHSAQA?oc=5

2024-06-02 00:59:40Z
CBMikAFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9saWZlc3R5bGUvcmVhbC1saWZlL25ld3MtbGlmZS9tdW1zLXNob2NrLWF0LWRpc2NvdmVyaW5nLWFkaGQtZGlhZ25vc2lzLWF0LTQzL25ld3Mtc3RvcnkvZTBiZDg1OTIwZWMyZjg4YzlmMDExMzI4YzI4ZGQ0MGHSAQA

Bagikan Berita Ini